Meditation leads to a slew of insights that help us navigate life. At this point, most of us understand life is, at times, stressful, but the reasons for this seemingly inevitable stress are still up for debate. Yesterday, everything was good. Today, while nothing has changed, that goodness has diminished. Why?
We're not talking about the pains that are the consequences of life-changing events, big or small. We're talking about those unprovoked internal shifts in our outlook that seem to arise from nothing.
We can brush it off and tell ourselves, "That's just the way things are," and it's true. There is nothing that doesn't change. Enthusiasm, hope, and gratitude come and go, as do doubt, depression, and stress.
We can also explain these ups and downs as shifts in biochemistry. Like the seasons and tides, the internal make-up of our body as a living organism moves through its emotional "seasons".
We can also investigate our behaviors and the delayed impact of our habits to rationalize the ups and downs of our emotional state. All are true. None are untrue. But, knowing the reasons is only half the solution.
Now, there is a reason why all meditative lineages are tethered to libraries worth of philosophy. Meditation, besides being a physical method of mind-body management is deeply concerned with the acquisition of specific wisdom; perennial wisdom. Perennial meaning something that lasts for a long time perhaps even infinite time.
The reasons for our cyclical stress may change as new information is discovered. The eternal presence of suffering and doubt, according to meditative minds has nothing to do with our behaviors or circumstances, either. We might think we're stressed because of money issues but "more money, more problems." We might think our stress is the byproduct of being single or being in a specific relationship, and yet, when either situation changes into its compliment we find "new" stress, "new" suffering. Problems persist.
The perennial wisdom of yoga and meditation, therefore, places the solution to stress in reach by encouraging us to explore our response to stress, not stress (or its causes). Coming to terms with life's endless flux is a sign of maturity and a piece of the puzzle but there is a difference between tolerating these shifts, accepting them, and embracing them.
And so there is wisdom in the study of tolerance, acceptance, and embrace as interlinked states of reaction. One leads to another the way a seed leads to a plant and eventually a flower. While all are virtuous in their own way, they aren't equal in terms of transformative power.
Remember, we're talking about the ever-reoccurring drop in positivity that all of us must endure. Tolerance suggests this dip in positivity is accepted, but within it there is a degree of animosity towards the fact. It's half-baked; a Frankenstein's monster of lingering resentment and insincere approval. Does this sound like a particularly divine way of being?
Reflect on your experiences within meditation. In the pronounced stillness of the practice, the emotional body is more obvious. You can tell when you are surviving your practice. You can tell when your heart is closed. The awareness that "Yes, I am only tolerating this," is vastly more beneficial than most understand. That keen awareness of when something is only being tolerated is the wisdom that leads to the next step; acceptance.
Acceptance is a passive form of love. There is no hatred, judgment, or disapproval in it. Peace is abundant. But, it is a neutral emotional state. It can lack the thrill of joy and is often, more passive than inspired. Use passed experience to reflect on when circumstances have been accepted. What was that like for you? There's a relinquishing of personal opinion; ego death. In that "dying of ego" the resentment that exists in tolerance dissipates, which is why acceptance is regarded so highly in meditative cultures.
I think of the difference between a dogmatic monk who fits the image of what a reclusive spiritualist is. They have accepted non-judgment. They have accepted presence. But, there's a nagging feeling that this monk is only subscribing to a concept of peace. There is no soul in the vessel, just a blank canvas that regurgitates what anyone can read from those libraries of perennial spiritual know-how. They are close to something special, certainly, but, intuitively, something feels unripe. Compare this archetype with any trail-blazer that broke the status quo, did things their own way, and via their individuality were regarded as the best in the game. Ikkyu, the dunk, sexual, non-conformist Zen master never accepted the traditional structures of the Zen orthodox and by the end of his life was given the title of master not for his compliance but because of his emotional connection to "the way." Acceptance can so often be cold. The ego, in it, is felt to be defeated rather than transformed.
Embrace, the final form, is a state of deep and open love. It's an active emotional expansion that reaches for its subject, as it is, without ulterior reason. Think of the way the Sun's light warms everything it touches; villain or hero, corpse or newborn. It is equanimous and non-striving in the sense that it harbors no preference. But, it's not equanimous in the sense that it is zealous.
I've noticed through my time as a teacher, especially through private sessions, how these nuances of emotion are difficult to both feel and therefore, articulate. The capacity to rationalize away what is so obviously felt in our bodies or hearts dumbs our instincts down and that arrests our ability to mature on these levels.
The tragedy is that perennial wisdom exists only in those intrinsic feelings. The masters of Zen, the Tao, and Yoga are masters simply because they can articulate what we all feel but cannot explain. Embrace is the flower of a paradoxically non-striving but expanding state of enthused love. Again, when meditating, sense the difference between tolerance, acceptance, and embrace. This leads to the possibility of practicing them. Embrace is the highest solution to the ups and downs. Embrace is the pinnacle of equanimity. Acceptance is a close second. Tolerance is too close to violent to be productive in its own right.
When embrace becomes reflexive something distinct happens. This is me, speaking as a fellow trekker of the ancient path.
Let's end with a haiku because poetry is a way of spiritualizing language, which so often diminishes the potency of spiritual understanding.
Be with it, fully
Regardless of its effect
Truly, it's for you